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Parallel Parenting After Divorce

Parallel parenting is an arrangement in which divorced parents are able to co-parent by means of disengaging from each other and having limited direct contact, in situations where they have demonstrated that they are unable to communicate with each other in a respectful manner. For intractable high conflict families, parallel parenting provides an opportunity for co-parenting, and although parents remain disengaged from each other they remain fully connected to their children. Within such an arrangement, parents may assume decision-making responsibility in different domains (such as one parent is responsible for medical decisions and the other for education). More often than not, however, they agree on major decisions regarding children’s upbringing but separately decide the logistics of routine, day-to-day parenting. In many cases, with parallel parenting in place, the passage of time allows the dust to settle between parents, to the point where parents achieve cooperative parenti...
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The Primary Purpose of Parenting

The primary purpose of parenting is to raise fully functional adults who can take care of themselves and make a positive contribution to society. Generally speaking, this should be accomplished by eighteen. After this age, parents have less verbal influence but can still be a positive role model through actions, not words. It is with intention that marriage and family are not mentioned. When an adult understands who they are separate from their family and peers, they can then form a heathy attachment to another person. Here are ten examples of a fully functional adult. This list is not meant to be inclusive or exclusive; rather it is a spring board for discussion. Value of hard work.  There are many ways hard work can be taught: sports, drama, school, music, chores, and part-time employment are a few examples. The important lesson is that talent will only take a person so far; dedication, devotion, and determination will take them farther. It takes perseverance to struggle t...
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The Roles of a Father

We are instinctively social beings and we learn largely by observing the behaviors of our role models.  Typically, our parents are the first role models in our lives as they are the first human contact we have at the start of our lives; and they continue to influence our growth and development throughout our lives.  We learn from both parents consciously and unconsciously.  I found that there are more discussions, opinions, and focus on the role of mothers with little information about the role and influence of fathers in bringing up a child.  So, allow me to open this subject and focus this discussion on the role of fathers.  The patterns of interaction between a father (or mother) and the child are the very patterns that will affect all children’s relationship from birth to death, including those with friends, lovers, and spouses.  When a girl grows up, she will probably look for men who have the patterns of good old dad. Therefore, if her father was k...
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Is Technology Creating a Family Divide?

Nowhere is the impact of popular culture and technology on children’s relationships more noticeable than in families. Both influences have contributed to a growing divide between the traditional roles that children and their parents play while, at the same time, blurring those same lines between parents and children. Over the past two decades, children who, for example, watch television, have received messages from popular culture telling them that parents are selfish, immature, incompetent, and generally clueless, for example, from  Malcolm in the Middle ,  Tool Time ,  Family Guy ,  Two and a Half Men , and  I Hate My Teenage Daughter,  not to mention reality TV shows such as  SuperNanny  and the  Housewives  franchise. This divide has grown due to the increased use of technology among children in several ways. First, children’s absorption in technology, from texting to playing video games, does by their very nature  limit thei...
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The Major Causes of Stress in Family Life

When we come home from work we expect to be able to relax, unwind and spend time with family, but even family life can sometimes be stressful. Stress isn't limited to one aspect of life. It affects us in many ways and several areas of our lives. Sometimes the most stressful time is the time that we spend with the people we love the most. The most common causes of stress in family life are finances, work, and health. The financial situation is the cause most often cited for stress in family life. When there are money problems, people tend to live in a perpetual state of stress. Work may add to family stress as well. There are plenty of people that feel trapped in dead-end jobs with no opportunity for advancement. They work long hours, make minimum wage and struggle to pay the bills. Another factor that causes stress is the lack of job security. Children are another source of stress. Parents try to protect them from the harsh realities of the world but at times the obstacles can...
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The Cornerstones of Marriage – Fidelity

Having a partner who is faithful is an entitlement of marriage . Fidelity on its own won’t necessarily guarantee a marriage will remain intact, but infidelity can surely end one. In fact, it’s one of the greatest threats to marital stability. Nothing breaks down trust and commitment more, and there’s no violation harder to overcome, than cheating. We should consider fidelity as one of the cornerstones of marriage, as essential as emotional support, trust, and commitment. The taboo against cheating is so strong that even those who have done it still regard it as wrong. While their beliefs are inconsistent with their actions, they get around that with some rationalizing. In principle, they agree infidelity is unacceptable, but they can excuse their own as a special case. It’s because of flaws in their marriage or in their own personalities. They also believe that taken on a case by case basis, others who have cheated probably also had good reasons, so at least they’re not hypocriti...
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Why Do People Get Married?

An imposing question indeed! Why do people get married? What is this mad unnatural desire that humans have to get married when no other animals in nature are looking for their soulmate? " In fact, I think the whole concept of marriage is unnatural. I mean look at pigs. Let's take a second here and look at pigs. Okay, pigs don't mate for life. I mean a pig can have like a hundred sexual partners in a lifetime, and that's just an ordinary pig, not even a pig that's good at sports! " ― Chandler Bing (Friends) Well, it seems like a perfectly valid argument. Marriage seems to change everything in a relationship, doesn't it? All of a sudden the man becomes boring and the woman starts nagging. The man takes up a higher paying job to support the family and works late, while the woman feels no need to look pretty anymore and starts putting on some weight. And then the kids come into the picture and it all gets even worse. They yell, they scream, they complai...
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